I can’t really explain how I knew so early! Sitting watching episodes of “I didn’t know I was pregnant” leads me to question this a lot more, but I did. I just knew, from almost the moment my body decided this was a viable pregnancy. But for this all to make sense I guess I need to go back a few years to the start of this journey.
In Sept 2022, after being free from hormonal birth control for a few months we took the step of “trying” – I need to admit I don’t think either of us ever felt comfortable saying that phrase aloud, instead it was more us knowing we were done preventing it. However, in all honestly I have to admit I was naïve and thought it was going to be a lot quicker! Even though I’d seen friends go through miscarriages and some years of infertility, I just thought for us it was just going to happen.
But the months started to add up and before we knew it a year came and went and then we hit two. Now it’s not all bad when trying takes longer, I think for me anyway I really enjoyed my life and it gave me an opportunity to stop being a people pleaser and be a lot more selfish with how I wanted to live my life. I wasn’t expecting to have quite as long living this way but hey ho. It gave me time to let my hair down a bit, to do things I had fallen in love with like CrossFit and to build a community around me of similar minded and focused legends! It also meant we had more energy to give to our businesses and to building our little empire.
The downside though, was most definitely the mind fuck it took on me. I lost track of the number of wasted pregnancy tests, getting to the point where I went to the cheap strips ones because I didn’t want to waste £12 a pop. I’d take a test before my period was even due just in the hope maybe it was going to be this month. Yet, in those two years I was only late twice, and in those two instances I knew straight away it wasn’t pregnancy holding things up, It’s again strange to look back and know how aware I was despite being a week late, I knew my period was coming. The unexplainable hope I had on months with no signals was no where in sight then, and as I knew it would, each time my period came and the inevitable tears that followed.
It took some time for us, well probably more me to admit defeat but in July 2024 we finally booked in with our GP, it was time to acknowledge out loud that this wasn’t happening for us. Thankfully we had a wonderful GP and she even ran a bunch of tests I asked for initially just to check I was all ok from a basic level. They all came back clear, she got us both in and kick started our journey, getting us on the waitlist to speak to the infertility team and start the IVF process. Do you know she was so positive and keen to get us in, she did the steps we were meant to because two weeks after meeting her we hadn’t finalised the paperwork… so she did it for us. She knew the reality of the waitlists and that we were still a bit overwhelmed by it all.
Once the realisation sunk in that we were likely going to need medical intervention, despite both of us being the healthiest we had been in years, it offered a strange sense of relief. 2025 and hospital appointments were months away, so what did we get to do with ourselves in the interim?
I could finally check out mentally from that monthly disappointment and the emotional fatigue of it all. I deleted the tracking app and even though I knew my cycle to the minute, it felt like a step to free myself from it. I messaged my PT telling him that I was done with doing things half arsed, I wanted abs and in 20 weeks time I was going to be in the best shape of my life. I even signed up to do a photo shoot in my underwear in order to show said transformation. I was ready to go full send and signed up for a CrossFit competition to push myself even more.
You know what happens next right?
THAT SAME WEEK, the transformation I had in mind was about to be completely flipped on its head. That week my nutrition, my strength, my dedication and my body were all on point. I hit over 100kgs on my back squat, finally got my clean and jerk passed 50kg, running was feeling good and dare I say easier and my ability on the ski and row machines in the gym was hitting numbers I had only dreamed off. To all you non gym goers… I was basically in beast mode, it was fecking amazing!
My body was feeling on the verge of a fitness level I had only ever dreamed of and then my egg and Adrian’s sperm finally got their shit together and like the opening scene of ‘Look Who’s Talking’ it happened.
I am not sure of the science in all honesty but I feel I knew literally the moment that fertilised egg found a home in my uterus. I mean I can’t prove it but I know on the 2nd October 2024 my life completely changed.
It was a Wednesday night and I went to my usual CrossFit class. I was ready for a tough workout – it was a partner one with dumbbells and lunges, overhead lunges just to add to the hell! On the last round of lunges with the dumbbells overhead I remember thinking on the first few metres, that I was killing it. But then I turned to come back for the final lap and, well everything started to change. I went from feeling strong as fuck to dropping the dumbbells in the fear I was about to projectile vomit water across the gym floor. I managed to shake it off and lifted the dumbbells up again but my stomach was doing flips, I somehow got to the finish line and just collapsed (don’t worry this is a very normal response after a CrossFit workout so I didn’t draw any attention). I lay there, getting my breath back but just realising and repeating in my head “Holy Shit, I’m pregnant!”
I know some people will think this is totally normally but I never knew you could know so quickly and based off my due date I was 3 weeks and 1 day when I found out. Even women I’ve known who tried for years don’t find out till that 6 week mark! I couldn’t even register with my midwifes the next day because in their words, I was too early to go on the system. It still blows my mind in all honesty.
But that night, I left the gym in a bit of a whirlwind, not able to focus if I am honest. I got home and said to Adrian I wasn’t feeling great and I just went straight to the bathroom. As if by chance, I had one early detection pregnancy test left! Without saying to him I just took it, and the speed at which that second line appeared nearly floored me. I mean even though I knew, the reality of seeing that line I had dreamed off seeing for years still blew me away.
Maybe I was still in a haze from the workout teamed with the news but I didn’t have the capacity to tell Adrian in a “cute” way. On retrospect I wish I had, he had had a shite day so I could have tried to be cuter in my delivery. But I just walked down the stairs test in hand and gave it to him with the magical line “well at least you don’t need to spunk in a cup now”. Safe to say I was just in complete and utter shock and now so was he.
It took a few days but once we got our heads around the fact this was real, we started a whole new journey. One we had never expected to be on, at least without a ton more work! So now I get to share this journey with you all and I am forever grateful to have even gotten to this stage!
Looking forward to sharing even more with you all as we go.
Katy & Bump x
Not Feeling Quite Myself 